"I could poop, that'll kill some time."

Above words spoken by Jo at Memphis International Airport (we got there way too early).

Memphis, Tennessee
I was slightly worried about Memphis, because we booked three days there, and my cousin in LA told us straight up that it was not a destination which warranted such a long time. The reason we booked it for so long was because Memphis-style BBQ is arguably the best in the US, and there are only so many meals in the day. Also, just quietly, the music there is kind of good. Happily, Memphis was well worth the time. Here are some scattershot thoughts on the place.

First up, Graceland. Jo and I went because we thought it would be hilariously tacky. Of course, we weren't disappointed in that regard. The place was decorated by a drug-addled superstar in the 70's, and maintained that way. Do you know what that means? SHAG CARPET ON THE FUCKING CEILINGS. Also, we saw the famed room in which Elvis simultaneously watched three TVs. The TVs were still there, and it was kind of anachronistic to be in the 70's style room watching 2008 programming on old school CRT TVs. We actually didn't end up laughing at the place, as so many of the other visitors were obviously there on some quasi-religious pilgrimmage and I felt like it would be rude to laugh at something that was so important to them (kind of like how I'm an atheist, but still wanted to uppercut tourists taking photos in Notre Dame. It's still a place of worship. Show some fucking respect you reprobate cunts)

Probably the highlight of Memphis was Sun Studios. This is the recording studio in which Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash cut their first records. It's a very small building; as such, the tour just incorporates a room with Sun-related memorabilia and the studio, and is more driven by the storytelling of the tour guide than on seeing things. Fortunately, the tour guides all appear to be local music boffins (their CDs are on sale in the gift shop), so they're all quite knowledgable, and good entertainers in their own right. To be in the studio and soak in the history was amazing. To see the famous photo of the Million Dollar Quartet (Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis and Johnny Cash) while standing in the very studio in which it was taken, breathing the same air they breathed, was mindblowing. It probably helped that I'm a pretty giant Johnny Cash fan. Also, they still have the "x" taped to the floor of the studio where Elvis stood while recording his first single. The studio laid unused for many years, but has recently become a popular recording location with famous musicians using is pretty regularly. The tour guide told us even Bob Dylan had been in the studio. He didn't record anything, though. He walked in, kissed the Elvis "x", and then walked back out. Fucking cool.

In Memphis, I also discovered that I might be a little racist. While on our Quixotic quest to find the Cozy Corner BBQ restaurant, I got us lost and we wandered through a neighbourhood near the main courthouse in Memphis, in which every single shop was a bail bondsman business, and we were the only non-black people for miles. I found it far more unsettling than I would have expected. To be fair, I don't know if it was just the extremely shady nature of the neighbourhood or the race issue which pushed the "Jono is uneasy" buttons. I hope it was just the former, as I'd hate to associate discovering something ugly about myself with a cool place like Memphis. If it was the latter, then I guess I'm not the only one. I passed a bar in a shopping mall in Memphis with a dress code reading like the following:

-No excessively baggy clothing
-No backwards or askew baseball caps (note that baseball caps aren't prohibited in general, just those that are worn a certain way)
-Underwear must not be visible above the waistband of your pants
-etc. etc.

Maybe it's just me, but that reads to me like the 2008 equivalent of "Sorry, no coloureds."

Ok, the main reason I was there; the southern food. I'm going to do an all-food post in a few days so I won't elaborate too much, but as unhealthy as everything is down south, it is so damn good! I ate maybe 4 different kinds of BBQ (including what amounts to a sandwich made with a huge chunk of slow-smoked DEVON) as well as fried catfish with fried okra (I don't know what that is, a friend just told me I had to order it). Everything is served with sweet tea, which is just extraordinarily sugary, unflavoured iced tea. A year or so ago I was making some iced tea for myself, and followed a southern recipe, and ended up with something so sweet that it was closer to a syrup than a beverage that could be consumed by a sane person. I thought I must have screwed up the recipe, but as I found out in Memphis, that's just the way sweet tea is supposed to be. And the funny thing is, when it is enjoyed with southern cooking, it goes down really well.

I'll finish with my thoughts on the music in Memphis. It's the birthplace of rock 'n' roll and the Mississippi Blues heartland, so it goes without saying that there has to be good music. Unfortunately a lot of the 'real' music joints are not in downtown, and Memphis is a bitch to get around in if you don't drive. The tour guide we were relying on recommended against any of the joints on Beale St, as while it is steeped in history, it is an area that caters to tourists. I found that to be a little bit snooty; after all, Jo and I were tourists. This was until I walked through Beale St on a friday night. The place was full of frat boys from the University of Tennessee in town for the weekend, and the only bands to be found in bars were playing Kid Rock and Uncle Kracker covers. Fortunately, Morgan Freeman opened his second "Ground Zero" blues bar just off Beale St in the last few years, and he apparently has a good reputation for booking quality blues from the Miss area. Jo and I dropped by on a friday night and we were not dissappointed. Yes, the band was playing more than a few covers, but there was some original material in there as well, the place was really unpretentious, had a decent range of beers on tap, and the musicianship was second to none. Audience sing-a-longs were actively encouraged, and were conducted in a call-and-response format which meant that even unrepentant metalheads like myself with zero knowledge whatsoever could take part. At one or two points the music filled me with such joy that I broke out into spontaneous laughter, something that has not happened since Metallica included "Damage Inc." in their '98 set, my first ever concert. If you're ever going to holiday in the US, add Memphis to your itinerary. There's no need to spend more than a couple of days there, but make it Fri-Sat, and visit Ground Zero, order a pint of Blue Moon, and enjoy the show.